Thank you everyone who wished Fennik a happy birthday. I think he had a good one (at least by doggy standards). I gave him a new hoof, but it was stuffed with something that looked like bacon bits and he promptly vomited up something orange. That didn’t deter him much and later that day he enjoyed eating the white cake from his birthday cupcake. His increased gas didn’t result in diarrhea so I’m counting it as a win!

Today’s picture was taken just his week. These plants are located close to my house at the end of the driveway. I planted a new type of sedum this past spring (sorry, I can’t remember its name) and it is blooming a vibrant plum right now. I thought it was pretty and offset well with the white flowers next to it as well as the purple fountain grass behind it.

Update on hopefully publishing the first book in the Reaping Covetous series: I’ve kind of given up on finding an agent and moved into the world of self publishing. I think I’ve found an editor (Yeah!) and hopefully can get started on that process toward the end of November. At this rate, maybe by late winter 2021 or spring I can have it out. So far I’ve really liked me correspondence with this editor and she did a couple of pages as a sample for me. Amazing how much you can learn with only 2 pages edited. Imagine what it will be when more of the book is done. All I can say is that she’s given me a lot to think about simply in those 2 pages and I will most likely be embarrassed about all the other stories I’ve written and put out there without professional editing. There is so much truth to the old saying, “live and learn”. I have a feeling I’m going to get a lot of “learning” when the editing process starts and I’m truly looking forward to it. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it makes me anxious too, but mostly excited to finally move forward.

I think that’s it for this week. I really need to go out and water the gardens. It has been pretty dry here. I love my plants and flowers until the rain runs out and I have to be a surrogate Mother Nature. It will take 2+ hours to get things done today. It’s not difficult work, just a little tedious and boring after awhile. But with no rain in the ten day forecast . . . the poor little kiddos are parched.

Until next week, stay well – both physically and mentally.

MJ May

Good afternoon everyone. I posted the twelfth chapter in Facilitate Your User (or at least I hope I posted it). I’m not sure why but the website was being difficult. When I transferred the block of text, it took all the spaces out this time for reasons I don’t understand and hope never happen again. It took a long time to go back through and put them in and then I had to do it again when the page went blank and I lost it all. Therefore, I hope chapter twelve came out okay and that all the spaces are where they need to be. If not, I apologize.

Today’s picture is an older one I found while scrolling through my phone. I don’t know why, but I felt like posting it today. These are actually little doggy kimono’s. I found them a few years ago when my family visited Disney World and more specifically, Epcot. I can’t remember if they were in the Chinese or Japanese Pavilion. I want to say it was the Chinese Pavilion but I’m not certain. I do remember the Japanese Pavilion was loaded with anime and manga products and I thought I’d maybe died and gone to Epcot heaven. Anyway, I thought they were super cute and took a photo. They also seemed quite elaborate and beautiful. I’ve never actually seen a dog come into the clinic (or anywhere else for that matter) sporting such finery, but thought I’d share.

I was wondering if anyone else is having issues with their cats going after their masks? I’ve found they really like the loops that go around the ears and if I lay it on the counter or hang one from a doorknob to dry after laundering it, they are going after them like crazy. I have to put mine up on the mantle to dry as it’s the only place they can’t reach. Living with cats certainly keeps you on your toes. I’ve said before I think placing sheets on a bed with cats involved should be an Olympic event. Scoring would be based on accuracy, time, creative cursing and how many times you have to throw the cats off the bed.

Off the beaten path from above . . . I’ve been thinking about adding another page to my website with names of mm books/authors that I’ve enjoyed. I’ve found that many of them are self published and sometimes aren’t as readily apparent (especially some of the older ones) when doing a search on Kindle. I’m not sure any of you would care what I like to read or not, but thought it might be a bit of a resource. It depends on the amount of time I have coming up. I looked at the time today and wondered where all of it had gone. I have so much on my mental to do list and yet I also need some mental down time so I’m not sure I’ll get much more done today. Ugh . . . I feel like I have all these plans that seem great at the time and then turn into, meh.

That’s about all for now. As always, I hope you are all doing well – staying healthy and somewhat sane. The continued cancelations of activities we look forward to yearly continues and weighs further on our collective souls. There’s a surety and mental calming associated with routine and for a lot of us, that has been blasted out of the water. All the little things are starting to add up, creating heavy mountains.

MJ May

I just put up Chapter 10 of Facilitate Your User. We’re going to start getting into more of Paul and Keylee’s relationship, or at least their attempt at one. They’ve both had such different upbringings that it’s going to be a bit tough on our young men.

The picture today is of Fennik peaking out at me while I’m watering the flower boxes. He generally runs from the window to the door so he can look out and see where I’m at and I suppose what I’m doing. He’s stopped chewing on the window pane crank which is a bonus. It’s a bit littered with teeth marks but still functional and mostly has its plastic coating in place. Mostly – sigh . . .

As an FYI to those reading this from the fan fiction world – I just signed up for AO3 but haven’t posted anything yet. My name will be under MJ_May instead of lunamist.

On the veterinary front, I will be seeing a kitten tomorrow for a recheck and I’m hopeful she is doing better. If you’re squeamish, then you should stop reading now – especially if you don’t want to hear anything about maggots. For those of you bravely trekking on, I’ll tell you her story.

As I’ve alluded to before, veterinary medicine isn’t as “glamorous” as some think. Some days the patients are great and a lot of fun. Other days make you question the world around you. This little kitten is a good example of how it really does matter what circumstances you are born into and how they shape your life.

Last week, we had someone call in to see if we had time to see a little kitten they’d pulled out from under a dumpster. The woman who called said she wanted to try and keep the kitten if we could get her fixed up, and oh, by the way . . . I think she’s got maggots.

Now, unfortunately, this isn’t all that uncommon. Flies are attracted to the smell of decaying tissue and feces (probably other things too, but that’s the important part in my world). Therefore, when it’s summer and an animal has poo stuck on fur around their rump or if they’ve been wounded and it’s infected, maggots can happen. They can be really challenging to clear up and many cases depend upon the extent of the infestation and where they are located.

Long story short, we got this little kitty in and yes, she did indeed have a rather unhealthy crop of well fed, several days old, juicy maggots squirming around several wounds along her left ear. Thankfully none of the wounds penetrated her mouth or into her ear canal. After several minutes of gagging (on my part as I really hate worms that congregate en mass), grabbing them with thumb forceps and flushing the wounds to get as many out as we could, we had a nice little squirming pile of the little buggers.

The wounds were bad, but if there’s one thing cats and kittens seem to excel at, it’s healing. I sent this little gal home with both oral and topical antibiotics and in no way promised the owner I’d gotten every single maggot out and to keep a close eye on the area. Later in the week I got a call from the new owner telling me this little kitty was doing well and she would be coming in on Monday for a recheck.

So, fingers crossed this kitty is doing well tomorrow. This isn’t the worst one I’ve seen – unfortunately many of those we euthanize. But every once in a while, they surprise you and turn out to have great lives. Here’s hoping this little gal is one of those.

Hope that story wasn’t too gross for you. It is, unfortunately, part and parcel of my job. Hug your furry loved ones as long as they’re amenable. Try and tay well and as sane as possible.

MJ May

Happy Sunday everyone! I just posted chapter nine of Facilitate Your User. Keylee and Paul are finally bonded. It’s a good start for them but that’s exactly what it is – a start.

Today’s picture is the view outside the window of what I affectionally call the “cat/computer room”. This is the room I do all my writing in and also has the kitty window seat, their cat tree, litter box and food. Newton’s head is in the fore, the garden beyond and maybe a little difficult to see considering the screen is in the way. The coneflowers in the garden are blooming beautifully right now. I have to say – I love a coneflower, and now you can find them in all different colors.

Not sure what the weather is like where you all are, but here in the Midwest it is hot, hot, hot and very humid. I mowed the lawn early this morning and was still dripping sweat. I would much rather this weather than the cold, but even this is getting too hot for me. It’s tough to do things outside in this and I feel bad for anyone laboring in this type of heat.

Speaking of laboring . . . whew, work has been busy. And it’s not just us. Veterinary clinics across the country are slammed right now and have been for the last few months. It is a condition I don’t expect to let up anytime soon. So, with that said, for all of you pet owners out there, try and have a little patience with your veterinarian. We are really trying but the truth of the matter is that we can not see every pet that needs it. We are all backed up from the early months of COVID when we had to put off routine procedures. That backlog has simply compounded the following months – months that are typically our busiest anyways. There comes a limit when you simply can’t work smarter or faster than you already are. There is a limit to how far you can push staff members and yourself and still expect everyone to show up healthy and sane to work the following day. It is a struggle right now and we feel terrible when we have to turn people away, funneling more of you to an emergency clinic you may have to travel an hour or two to get to. It weighs on us, but like I said, there comes a breaking point where you just have to say the word, “No”.

Patience is a gift the Fates seemed to have passed me by on. I suppose I have other gifts – some good and some not so good, but patience definitely isn’t one of them. That makes this kind of one of those, “Do as I say, not as I do” moments. Sigh . . . try as I might, sometimes I’m a hypocrite.

With all that said, I plan to do some reading later today and I hope you all can do the same. Reading and writing are the biggest de-stressors in my life and I’m planning on using them to try and recharge my batteries so I can get up early tomorrow and start the race all over again. I hope my stories give people the kind of mental break I’m always searching for. That is probably my biggest wish for my writing.

As an aside to those coming to my website from fanifiction, I’ve got the first few chapters of Bakusen’O re-read and will hopefully start loading them to this website this week. I’m guessing you’ve all read it before and it won’t change much. I just thought I’d bring my Inuyasha stories to a new home. I have no plans on willingly taking them down from fanfiction at this time so you’ll still be able to read them there.

As always, stay well, happy and good luck remaining sane.

MJ May

Happy Sunday everyone. I just posted chapter 8 of Facilitate Your User. This one sees Keylee and Paul finally bonded. We’ll see how things go in the future. I may try and post more than one chapter a week but no guarantees. Work has been nutty bunnies and my days off seem to be spent trying to query agents (so far no interest which is very depressing). Querying takes a very long time. It depends on what the agent wants but some of them take me about an hour or so. Right now it seems pretty futile but I keep trying.

Overall this is a much lighter posting than last week. Thank you to those whom read and a special shout out to Doris Maduka and amadderhatter for their comments. I can not express how much I appreciate them. I really do love hearing from my readers and I am getting more comfortable sharing little bits of my life with all of you out there. Not sure if that’s always welcome or not, but it’s nicer than I thought it would be. Mostly I think my life is pretty dull and boring but I suppose that’s all in the proverbial eye of the beholder.

Today’s picture is of my desk. I painted this many and many a moon ago when I was but a youngin’ – the ripe old age of nineteen. It was between my freshman and sophomore years of college undergrad and I needed a desk top. I’ve used it ever since and it’s moved everywhere I have. It’s a little old and worn but I still like it. I really don’t do much painting anymore. My mom is a great artist and did tole painting for years. Now she does scrapbooking and both her and my aunt’s home made cards are amazing.

That’s all for this post. At least this weekend I don’t have to be in a parade (I had to do that last Sunday for work). I swear, I sweated at least 5 lbs off last weekend. It was bloody hot out there. Over 90 both days and our Midwest humidity was out and proud. I hope you are all still doing well and staying safe and sane.

MJ May

Today’s picture is of a poster I have framed and hanging in the basement. Why the basement? Because that is where my pseudo work-out room is and it seemed to make sense. Plus it’s where I still have some wall space. Now, this poster has also been through its fair share of trauma. I purchased it but took forever getting it hung up. In the meantime, it was still rolled up and standing upright in a bag. There was a plumbing incident and one of the water logged ceiling tiles fell on it. The poster actually punched a hole in the ceiling tile but also got wet. But it survived! Although not quite whole. Anyways, I hung it up. I figured the poster had earned it.

So, this post is a little different. My blog/website is defined by the fact that I am a veterinarian and an aspiring fiction writer. I’ve thought about taking the veterinarian part down, not because I’m not one, but this website is dedicated more to the aspiring fiction writer part. And then philosophical dilemmas crop up that I feel like sharing. Thus today’s post.

I’ve been a vet for over eighteen years. It was a hard earned dream that, like so many other dreams, didn’t quite pan out the way I thought it would. The veterinary profession is plagued with mental illness. This isn’t necessarily a new concept to those of us who’ve been in it for awhile, but mounting suicides within the profession finally made some people higher up take notice. There has been much debate and studies done these past few years to try and figure out if veterinarians really do have a higher suicide rate than the general population and other similar professions. There is some conflicting data but everyone generally agrees it’s a problem. As a general rule, we are a profession of introverts whom like/love animals more than people. The irony of that situation is that we are in a profession where we have to be able to talk and deal with people every single day.

There are several theories as to why veterinarians seem more prone to depression, anxiety, suicide and all the other less than joyful mental illnesses that plague our minds. I have my own opinions that I will not expound upon but I will say that I have not been immune to the struggle. Those not intimately involved with the profession might not understand its stresses, but they are real and only worsening as time goes on. Current veterinary students will graduate with unfathomable student debt and our salaries are not commensurate with these staggering figures. Again, lots of studies, discussions and hand wringing have gone into this topic with (in my opinion) little to show for it. The profession eats away at your morals, your empathy, and your sanity. Many often speak of compassion fatigue – in all the health professions. For me it isn’t so much compassion fatigue, but decision fatigue. I still have tons of compassion but at the end of the day, my brain is shot.

What this profession has also taught me is that love is not nearly so simply defined as one would think, and means something different to almost everyone. I have had people bring me pets that are too obese to walk, covered in fleas, have such severe dental disease that the smell of just being in the room with them is nausea inducing and a litany of other preventable issues that wear at my empathy. And yet, when you speak to those same people, they often smile with loving eyes at their pet and joyfully pronounce how much they love them, how lucky said dog or cat was to be found/adopted by them. This is not love to me, or at least not the whole definition of it. It is to them and I have to do the best I can with what I have to work with. To be sure, there are definitely more dogs and cats in the world who have had it worse and unfortunately I’ve seen them too.

So, here comes the dilemma. Becoming a veterinarian is a dream of many. It was my dream and no one could talk me out of it. I worked damn hard getting into school and the four years of my life spent in veterinary school were a harsh blur of missed family functions, working through illness, little sleep, stress and sacrifice. I’ve been a veterinarian for over eighteen years and am now in a position where younger dreamers come to me, wanting references to get into school. I’m in the process of writing up a reference right now and fighting an inner battle over it. I’m trying to write what I know admissions wants to hear – working my best to write a good and compelling letter of recommendation for a bright young woman who has her heart set on joining a profession I would not recommend. I want this young woman to succeed. I want her to realize the dreams she’s worked so hard to earn and believe me, she’s more than capable of getting into and through school. But I worry. I worry that her life will mimic not only my own, but so many other veterinarians who worked their asses off to do something that is slowly killing them – burning them out and taking the joy away from pet ownership.

As my posts indicate, I love and adore my pets. They are the light of my life – my chosen family, but being a veterinarian has changed how I view pet ownership and the simple pleasure of it. Everything comes with a price. I suspect most professions are not what people thought they would be and the disappointment can be numbingly painful. Veterinarians are certainly not alone in that conundrum.

And so, I write. I write fanfiction and original fiction with characters created in my mind because I can control what happens to them. I can escape into the fantasy worlds I create so I can forget, for at least a little while, cases from my real job that I can’t solve, that there’s not enough money to treat, or that should never have happened in the first place. I write and make up stories to give my brain a break from reality. It’s the same reason most of us read and watch television. I like to think it’s a healthier outlet than some of the other things I could be doing.

At the end of things, I’ll write this young lady the most fabulous letter of recommendation I can and hope that she’s one of the lucky ones that makes it through and truly enjoys the profession. I will hope she finds her way through the financial hardships, through the difficult curriculum and through the (cough*) interesting clients she meets along the way. And more importantly, I will hope that she maintains the love for animals that she currently has, that she can still experience the joy of a new kitten or puppy.

Sorry for the longer rant today, but this is, after all, a blog as well as a website to post my stories. For those of you from the fanfiction world, I will start adding my Inuyasha stories to this website soon. I want to go through and reedit some. There won’t be any major changes and most likely you won’t notice the changes. I’ll be starting with Bakusen’O. This way, if something happens and they kick me off fanfiction, there will still be a place to find these stories because I love them as much as many of you. I still get reviews from readers telling me how many times they’ve reread some of my stories. I truly love this and want to let you know, I reread them too!

Thanks for reading and I hope you all like the new chapter addition to Facilitate Your User.

MJ May