Good morning everyone (again, morning where I currently am). I just posted the next chapter of Facilitate Your User. It’s interesting how characters change as you get deeper into a story. When I first started writing Maxwell Haines, I wasn’t sure I liked him. By the end, he was one of my favorites. I hope you think so too.
Today’s picture is a throwback. This is Fennik as a puppy. My guess is I’d had him maybe a week when this picture was taken. It’s an interesting picture to me because this was one of the only times he used his dog bed as it was intended. It didn’t take the little fella long before he began dragging it around the house, humping it. He’s neutered now, but he still “enjoys” this activity. Sometimes I feel kind of bad that I neutered him as I think he would have made a great doggie gigolo.
On a little darker note, today’s blog post is about euthanasia. As a veterinarian, this is part of my job. Euthanasia is never something any veterinarian enjoys, but I’d venture to say that most of us truly believe we are relieving pain and suffering. I’ve been asked before how I feel about it and how I can put an animal down. After eighteen years as a vet, my answer has become pretty standard – I don’t feel bad about 90% of them. It’s that other 10% that keep me awake at night. It’s the one’s that have to be euthanized because of behavior problems (aggression, inappropriate urination, or something else that makes them difficult or impossible to re-home).
And then there’s the decision of when to euthanize. Two weeks ago, in the same day, I had two extremes of the situation. One client who I thought waited far too long and another who jumped to euthanasia way too quickly (at least in my opinion). Both of these clients had very different view points on death and quality of life and each would have been horrified by the other’s decision. As I’ve said in an earlier post, if this job has taught me anything, love means something unique and slightly different to every individual. How people view life and death and their role as caretaker of a pet is also very different. Like most things in life, most people fall somewhere in the middle, a position most of us can easily relate to. Other’s are the outliers, the one’s the majority of us look at and sort of shake our heads at.
Seeing the other person’s perspective is difficult, especially when you hold a life in your hands. That day was difficult for me and I felt guilty about both euthanasias for totally opposite reasons. I could have said no to the one I thought was occurring too soon, but in this case, there were extenuating circumstances and I understood her reasons. Would I have made the same choice in her shoes? I’m not sure.
At the end of the day, euthanasias are hard, and that is the way they should be. Deciding to euthanize your pet should be one the most difficult decisions you make, otherwise you never should have had them. It’s hard for a reason. It’s hard because pets mean the world to us. It’s hard because we love them. It’s hard because their loss leaves a gaping hole that is almost impossible to fill. It’s the price we pay. Most of the time, I think the price is worth the years of joy they bring us. And that is what I try and remind myself on the days where I have not one, not two, but multiple euthanasias I have to perform. And there are days like that, though thankfully, they are few.
Sorry if this post was sad or made you uncomfortable. In a way, I meant it as comfort for those of you struggling with an ailing pet. Know that you are not alone. I’ve lost three beloved pets. I euthanized all of them myself and I cried like a lost child during each and every one. I cried for days after and in the case of my first Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Georgia, I still have days when I cry. But then Fennik was born and came to live with me. He’ll never replace Georgia, but he brings a lot of joy, silliness and stupidity to my life. Just like good pets are supposed to.
Until next week, hug, pet, kiss the ones you love (unless they’re human and you suspect them of having COVID!). Stay well and sane. For me, that recipe typically has four legs and a lot of fur 🙂
MJ May
veterinarian and fiction writer 